The Vaguely Communist Hell of New Scotstan is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Posadist Assembly of New Scotstan with an iron fist, and renowned for its smutty television, ubiquitous missile silos, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 7.229 billion New Scotstonians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Vault. The average income tax rate is 93.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient New Scotstanian economy, worth 907 trillion Warheads a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, quite specialized black market in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Trout Farming. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 125,562 Warheads, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Mining is the nation's most dangerous occupation, census workers struggle to account for the rapidly increasing number of citizens to tabulate, a new "thought police" branch is being developed, and artists are renowned for their ability to make art pieces out of thin air. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. New Scotstan's national animal is the Ferret, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Posadism.

New Scotstan is ranked 258,349^th in the world and 1^st in Big Bomb Land for Nicest Citizens, with 0.89 average smiles per day.