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Salvadoran President Wants to be King: The End of the Democratic Façade in El Salvador?
21 March 2023

LIBERTY CITY — The current president of the Imperial Republic of El Salvador, Orlando Óscar Pareja y Palau, is known worldwide as an authoritarian and anti-democratic autocrat, and he even publicly brags about those facts. He's an overt advocate for anti-democratic movements worldwide and seeks the "abolition of global democracy", as outlined in his most recent book titled 'The Inconvenient Truth About Democracy'. He is a textbook dictator and will one day be a case study for political science courses around the world for how dangerous ideas and rhetoric leads to democratic disasters such as in El Salvador, even if the country's democracy has been merely a façade for most of its existence.

Recently, however, Pareja Palau has gone even further than simply wanting to become a dictator, illegally run for a second term as president, and even outright end Salvadoran "democracy". In recent public comments on Twitter, Pareja Palau has openly expressed his desire to become the King of El Salvador, effectively returning El Salvador to the 1850s when the country was still a monarchy under the House of Castelltort (which was overthrown in 1858 by the imperialist Adolfo III of Creeperopolis). He is seeking to undo the works of men like Lluís Amadeu Altayo i Ramió and Sergi Dídac Falguera i Padilla who introduced democracy to the landlocked Surian country in the late-1880s. As Pareja Palau tweeted on 10 February 2023, he stated that he should "[...] abolish Salvadoran democracy once and for all".

The Duke of Pareja-Palau, a title which was bestowed to him in 2020 by Creeperian Emperor Alexander II, seemingly isn't content with only being a duke; he wants a crown and he wants the title of King. His first such tweet was made on 2 February 2023 when Pareja Palau tweeted "El Salvador should be a monarchy". His next irresponsible tweet came amidst a name calling temper tantrum between him and Gjorkan politician Alexei Tabor (the leader of the far-right National Social Party), when Pareja Palau made two such tweets. He tweeted "I am more likely to become King of El Salvador than you [Tabor] are to win 15% of the vote in Gjorka", seemingly mocking Tabor that he has no chance of ever matching the dictatorial powers which he has amassed in El Salvador. His second tweet followed the same line of reasoning, mocking that Tabor will only win 19.9% of the vote in the 2026 Gjorkan presidential election, while he wins 100% of the vote in El Salvador (through the legislature, as the citizenry does not vote for the president) and will be "coronated", rather than inaugurated.

Pareja Palau's most recent mindless remark came earlier today when he tweeted "I should be King Orlando I of El Salvador", amassing over 21,200 likes within two hours. Every day, we get closer to his inevitable announcement of his self-declared kingdom and the death of one more democracy in Sur. As ironic as it may sound, due to Pareja Palau's presidency, Sequoyah has overtaken El Salvador as the most democratic country in Sur. Democracy is dead in Creeperopolis, Salisford, Rakeo, Montcrabe, and the State of the Church, and now, it is coming to an end in El Salvador.

Sadly, we expect the international community to do little to nothing regarding these anti-democratic remarks. Salisford and Creeperopolis will do everything in their power to obstruct the Terraconserva Council of Nations in order to support their fellow CODECO member. That being said, Salisford may be a wild card in helping stop this democratic backsliding due to the ever present friction between the Salvadoran and Salisfordian governments over the unresolved status of the self-declared Free Republic of Noundures which currently controls some territory in northeastern Salisford. Earlier this year, the self-declared country's president was assassinated by the Salisfordian SISM, and Pareja Palau has gone on various tirades on Twitter supporting Noundures, which is effectively a Salvadoran puppet state. Despite this unexpected beacon for hope, the influence of Creeperopolis within CODECO and the continent may throw a wrench in Salisford stopping this wanna-be monarch, as Pareja Palau is an ethnic Creeperian and the Creeperian regime is always excited to see democracy die and monarchy rise.

Pareja Palau is already responsible for the arbitrary arrests and executions of over 19,000 supposed gang members, the deaths of various political opponents, most notably Adán Mauricio Tamayo y Navarro of the Salvation Movement for Democracy in 2022, and the arrests of hundreds to thousands of pro-democracy and anti-authoritarian protestors within the country. As a former academic, Pareja Palau loves writing books, especially propaganda, and has spent a heavy focus on feeding his people anti-democratic propaganda to support his totalitarian agenda. If not stopped, Pareja Palau will become the Salvadoran version of Augusto Ramón Cabañeras y Gutiérrez, that is, if he is already not.

While the abolition of democracy is the end goal of wanna-be dictators such as Alexei Tabor of the National Social Party, Pascal Vidal of Onward Quebecshire, Maxim Buntafed of the Ajaki Nationalist Initiative, Augustus Young of the National Reconstruction Party, and Alexander Gauland of Freedom & Justice, it is almost certainly a future reality which Pareja Palau will attain.

Written by José Luís Gómez y Alvarado
Edited by Ross O'Downey
© El Faro (2023)