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True story time. When I worked in France we had quite a good works canteen. One day I was eating paella with the guy I shared an office with and an Australian friend who was on secondment there.

I picked out a prawn from my dinner and said “In Australia we have prawns five times the size of this”. Looked at my friend and he agreed. Next I pulled a mussel out and said “You couldn’t use a mussel this size in New Zealand, too small, illegal”.

My French colleague took this information in, looked at both of us and said “Do you have crabs?” and then wondered why we fell off our chairs laughing hysterically.