The Fattest Citizens in Haiku
World Census takers tracked the sale of Cheetos and Twinkies to ascertain which nations most enjoyed the "kind bud."
As a region, Haiku is ranked 10,995th in the world for Fattest Citizens.
 | Nation | WA Category | Motto | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1. |  The Arty Fish Oil Intelligence of The Voice of ARB | Left-Leaning College State | “Life is a game: live it to play, not to win” | |
| 2. |  The Musical Plague of Tap-Dancing Demons | Father Knows Best State | “What a lot of fun, you guys have been real... swell!” | |
| 3. |  The Beautiful Deathlings of Xiaomei | Iron Fist Consumerists | “Bleed Beauty. Sing until your voice gives out.” | |
| 4. |  The Backward Republic of Ukiah | Inoffensive Centrist Democracy | “Three lines, no waiting!” | |
| 5. |  The Republic of Sands of Time | Inoffensive Centrist Democracy | “By The People For The People” | |
| 6. |  The Frozen Tundra of Froyodia | Civil Rights Lovefest | “It's okay to pretend it's healthy” | |
| 7. |  The Free Land of Nocutter | Capitalist Paradise | “If the market is not free then neither are we!” | |
| 8. |  The Community of Haikustan | Democratic Socialists | “A nomad I am, always so harmonious, I hail Haikustan!” | |
| 9. |  The Nennan Ranterarrees of Atesorinia | Inoffensive Centrist Democracy | “Onirante sa nennanorin” | |
| 10. |  The Pending Theme of Carmiex | Democratic Socialists | “This is a Haiku” |
