by Max Barry

Latest Forum Topics




by The Supine Socialist Slothland of Maowi. . 73 reads.

Maowi: A Brief Guide for the Foreigner

Josef Slothlin
Josef Slothlin
Josef Slothlin


HomeGovernmentOctober RevolutionTourist GuideWA Mission


Welcome to the Maowese information bureau, whether you are accessing our resources online or reading the posters on the walls at our offices around Maowi. The purpose of this document is to prepare you with the key information you need before going out and about in Maowi.

A very simplified history
An island nation found on Planet Earth in the South Pacific Ocean, between Australia and New Zealand, Maowi was only chanced upon by an intrepid band of 380 explorers from all over the planet in 1946. They promptly settled on the island, which had a large existing population of indigenous natives dating back thousands of years. The mutual cultural fascination and open attitudes on both sides led to a swift integration and Maowi soon set up a functional democratic government and became an economically and culturally thriving nation. As we all know, economic success for the lucky few within the capitalist system inevitably breeds complacency, greed, selfishness, and cruelty. As the bourgeoisie few grew ever more distant from the humble worker, discontentment grew among the proletariat. Their peaceful protest strategies, such as mass lie-ins and work boycotts failed to stimulate change, so on October 7 2019, a group of sloth workers, led by Comrade Josef Slothlin, decided to take matters into their own paws. Suffice it to say, the glorious Revolution was a success and Maowi is now governed in the honourable communist system.

The people
The sapient population of Maowi is comprised of humans and sloths at a roughly 1:1 ratio. The primary language spoken is English, which is spoken to some extent by virtually everybody, although there are many speakers of Indigenous Maowese too; as such, every official document is available in both of these languages. The nation also has a fairly sizeable Latin-speaking population, due to the disproportionate number of classics scholars in the group of explorers that discovered Maowi. The population is generally laid-back, cheerful, and compassionate - and, despite the pro-atheism campaign efforts the new administration has recently implemented, inordinately devout - particularly in terms of Indigenous Maowese Worship. Do not be alarmed to see several humans and sloths daily standing on their heads naked around about noon; they are merely trying to win the favour of one of their imaginary gods, "Grachstoidiope". Another religious custom (which has however become a lot more widespread) is that of observing a holy two-hour period of nap-time after lunch. From two to four p.m., shops, workplaces, schools, and emergency services are shut and the streets deserted. Only a few pillow shops remain open. It is advised to remain indoors during this period; the streets may be dangerous.

One random but useful piece of advice
Hurrying anywhere in any circumstances will immediately raise suspicion and draw attention to you. You may be interrogated by our police force if you are seen rushing. Then again, our task force may struggle to catch you. It would be suspicious for them to run.