The Kiwi Bird Megaforest of Ordealius is a titanic, safe nation, ruled by Samantha Talon with an even hand, and renowned for its teetotalling pirates, feral children, and fear of technology. The compassionate, devout population of 19.587 billion Ordealians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, socially-minded government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Environment, Spirituality, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nekolite Village. The average income tax rate is 96.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Ordealian economy, worth a remarkable 1,996 trillion kilis a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is extremely specialized, is mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are the norm. Average income is an impressive 101,934 kilis, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Town nameplates frequently raise giggles from passing tourists, Ordealius's children are widely acknowledged as the most foul-mouthed in the region, scholars are leaving the country at an alarming rate, and the black market offers sweet deals. Crime is totally unknown. Ordealius's national animal is the Kiwi Bird, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Kiwi-ism.

Ordealius is ranked 304,871^st in the world and 3^rd in The Land of Bats and Nuggets for Most Advanced Defense Forces, scoring -21.91 on the Total War Preparedness Rating.