The Kiwi Bird Forest of Ordealius is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Samantha Talon with a fair hand, and notable for its lack of airports, ban on automobiles, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, devout population of 17.491 billion Ordealians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, socially-minded government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Environment, Spirituality, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nekolite Village. The average income tax rate is 96.2%.

The all-consuming Ordealian economy, worth a remarkable 1,752 trillion kilis a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is extremely specialized, is mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are the norm. Average income is an impressive 100,212 kilis, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The wearing and manufacture of fur apparel is banned, citizens ask "how many crooks could a nunchuck hook if a nun had nunchucks too?", citizens are less concerned with policy and more concerned with whether politicians "call 'em like they see 'em", and the government is washing its hands of alleged corruption. Crime is totally unknown. Ordealius's national animal is the Kiwi Bird, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Kiwi-ism.

Ordealius is ranked 24,281^st in the world and 8^th in Atlanticana for Lowest Crime Rates, with 86.45 law-abiding acts per hour.