The Promised Land of New Tamarind is a mammoth, pleasant nation, ruled by Holy Father Innocent XV with a fair hand, and renowned for its frequent executions, ritual sacrifices, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 9.816 billion Tamarindians are known throughout the region for their efficiency and work ethic, as well as their general suspicion of leisure.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Capital. The average income tax rate is 11.2%.

The strong Tamarindian economy, worth 506 trillion dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Furniture Restoration industry, with major contributions from Woodchip Exports, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Information Technology. Average income is 51,573 dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.7 times as much as the poorest.

Knock-knock jokes regularly get removed from websites for being too edgy, teenage TV characters are played by thirty-year-olds by the end of the second season, t-bagging dead Bigtopians merits a medal of honor, and going on a diet invalidates your passport. Crime is relatively low. New Tamarind's national animal is the kangaroo, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities, and its national religion is The True Faith.

New Tamarind is ranked 111,595^th in the world and 37^th in Esportiva for Most Cultured, scoring 65 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.