by Max Barry

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Highest Economic Output: 4,538thLargest Black Market: 4,744thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 4,931st
The Locomotive of
Democratic Socialists
Their fathers' magic carpets made of steel
Influence
Truckler
Region
Civil Rights
Some
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Below Average

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Train

Population22.487 billion

Capitalthe City of New Orleans
LeaderCasey Jones
FaithUnstoppable

Currencytrack
Animaliron horse

The Locomotive of Train is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Casey Jones with an even hand, and notable for its pith helmet sales, frequent executions, and punitive income tax rates. The humorless, devout population of 22.487 billion engineers are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The medium-sized, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of the City of New Orleans. The average income tax rate is 61.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient railway economy, worth a remarkable 3,513 trillion tracks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Tourism, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 156,256 tracks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

Giggling elementary school newspaper reporters want to know why Casey Jones is a silly poophead, foreign leaders who don't applaud Casey Jones's speeches are regarded as enemies of Train, young children are learning advanced physics to scientifically disprove the existence of Santa Claus, and foreign lack of enthusiasm for railway nose-flute disco metal is seen as a reasonable casus belli. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Train's national animal is the iron horse, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Unstoppable.

Train is ranked 56,897th in the world and 12th in Seinfeld for Highest Wealthy Incomes, with 224,807 Standard Monetary Units.

Top
5%
Highest Economic Output: 4,538thLargest Black Market: 4,744thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 4,931stMost Patriotic: 5,962ndLargest Manufacturing Sector: 6,217thMost Devout: 6,288thLargest Agricultural Sector: 6,377thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 6,909thLargest Populations: 7,089thHighest Poor Incomes: 11,632ndMost Valuable International Artwork: 13,157thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 13,312thTop
10%
Highest Average Incomes: 13,811thHealthiest Citizens: 14,270thLowest Crime Rates: 15,159thLargest Information Technology Sector: 17,059thMost Corrupt Governments: 17,475thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 18,054thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 18,731stLargest Mining Sector: 19,747thMost Scientifically Advanced: 19,781stMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 19,951stLargest Governments: 21,370thBest Weather: 22,216thSmartest Citizens: 22,744thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 22,857thMost Efficient Economies: 24,815thMost Beautiful Environments: 25,749th
Top
5%
Largest Mining Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 1st in the regionTop
10%
Highest Economic Output: 2nd in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2nd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Train was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Developed.
  • : Train's influence in Seinfeld rose from "Vassal" to "Truckler".
  • : Train was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Advanced Defense Forces.
  • : Following new legislation in Train, foreign lack of enthusiasm for railway nose-flute disco metal is seen as a reasonable casus belli.
  • : Following new legislation in Train, young children are learning advanced physics to scientifically disprove the existence of Santa Claus.
  • : Following new legislation in Train, foreign leaders who don't applaud Casey Jones's speeches are regarded as enemies of Train.
  • : Following new legislation in Train, giggling elementary school newspaper reporters want to know why Casey Jones is a silly poophead.
  • : Following new legislation in Train, drill sergeants yell in the ears of bespectacled nerds in cybermilitary "reboot camps".
  • : Following new legislation in Train, urban graffiti is hand-calligraphed in perfectly kerned elegant fonts.
  • : Following new legislation in Train, male med students learning female anatomy do so with their eyes tightly closed.

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