The Locomotive of Train is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Casey Jones with an even hand, and notable for its pith helmet sales, frequent executions, and punitive income tax rates. The humorless, devout population of 22.487 billion engineers are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The medium-sized, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of the City of New Orleans. The average income tax rate is 61.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient railway economy, worth a remarkable 3,513 trillion tracks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Tourism, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 156,256 tracks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

Giggling elementary school newspaper reporters want to know why Casey Jones is a silly poophead, foreign leaders who don't applaud Casey Jones's speeches are regarded as enemies of Train, young children are learning advanced physics to scientifically disprove the existence of Santa Claus, and foreign lack of enthusiasm for railway nose-flute disco metal is seen as a reasonable casus belli. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Train's national animal is the iron horse, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Unstoppable.

Train is ranked 56,897^th in the world and 12^th in Seinfeld for Highest Wealthy Incomes, with 224,807 Standard Monetary Units.