The Republic of Touching Grass 13 is a mammoth, genial nation, renowned for its keen interest in outer space, ritual sacrifices, and ubiquitous missile silos. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 8.454 billion Touching Grass 13ians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of 13. The average income tax rate is 71.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Touching Grass 13ian economy, worth 933 trillion 13s a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Woodchip Exports. Average income is an impressive 110,413 13s, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Self-sufficiency is built on seizing foreign assets, the cold war against capitalism is growing chillier by the day, naturists are jailed regularly for indecent exposure, and large sections of Touching Grass 13 have been named national reserves to protect the native tribes living there. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Touching Grass 13's national animal is the 13, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Touching Grass 13 is ranked 275,002^nd in the world and 296^th in The Funian Puppet Region for Most Cultured, scoring 58 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.