
| Population | 4.672 billion |
| Capital | Ornavasso |
| Leader | Elisa Longo Borghini |
| Faith | cycling |
| Currency | gold |
| Animal | kiwi |
The Easter Community of Titans of Longo is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Elisa Longo Borghini with an even hand, and notable for its daily referendums, parental licensing program, and compulsory vegetarianism. The compassionate, humorless, devout population of 4.672 billion Longo Titans are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.
The minute, socially-minded government, or what there is of one, is primarily concerned with Law & Order, although Environment, Healthcare, and Social Policy are also considered important, while Industry and Defense aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ornavasso. Income tax is unheard of.
The sizeable but stagnant Longoan Titan economy, worth 17.2 trillion golds a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector is mostly comprised of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 3,672 golds, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.
Religious epiphanies are often cited as a reason for high school drop-outs, restaurants are required to specify whether their toilet paper was made in Titans of Longo, "It was only a joke" is no longer a defense for the felony of discrimination, and vital intelligence-gathering activities are put on hold as agents return home for seduction training and advanced poker instruction. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force. Titans of Longo's national animal is the kiwi, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is cycling.
Titans of Longo is ranked 331,010th in the world and 702nd in Communitas for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring -33.05 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.
National Happenings
Most Recent Government Activity:
- : Following new legislation in
Titans of Longo, vital intelligence-gathering activities are put on hold as agents return home for seduction training and advanced poker instruction.
- : Following new legislation in
Titans of Longo, "It was only a joke" is no longer a defense for the felony of discrimination.
- : Following new legislation in
Titans of Longo, restaurants are required to specify whether their toilet paper was made in Titans of Longo.
- : Following new legislation in
Titans of Longo, religious epiphanies are often cited as a reason for high school drop-outs.
- : Following new legislation in
Titans of Longo, extreme hiring regulations mean a job in Titans of Longo is often a lifetime appointment.
- : Following new legislation in
Titans of Longo, the only way for immigrants to get into office is as a janitor.
- : Following new legislation in
Titans of Longo, all Longo Titans live like kings.
- : Following new legislation in
Titans of Longo, children keel over while singing "Elisa Longo Borghini Gives Us the Water of Life".
- : Following new legislation in
Titans of Longo, anti-government political posters adorn every building like wallpaper.
- :
Titans of Longo was reclassified from "Authoritarian Democracy" to "Democratic Socialists".










































