The Irumuḍi Carriers of Sabarimala is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Pulluvazhy Satyanarayanan with an iron fist, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, barren, inhospitable landscape, and complete lack of prisons. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 7.854 billion Malayalis are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Malikapuram. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 77.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Malayali economy, worth a remarkable 1,573 trillion rupyarupas a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, Retail, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 200,381 rupyarupas, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 698,205 per year while the poor average 41,870, a ratio of 16.7 to 1.

An extra hand on the leg will give a horse-and-a-half of lead in a hundred jiffies on seven furlongs, mothers drive their college-graduate children to work, a positive pregnancy test doubles as a visa, and money that should have gone to charities is instead spent on monitoring them. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Sabarimala's national animal is the Vechur cow, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Ayyappan bhakti.

Sabarimala is ranked 44,699^th in the world and 32^nd in Pecan Sandies for Lowest Crime Rates, with 75.88 law-abiding acts per hour.