The Optimistic Republic of Ptarmigans is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by The Great Pumpkin with a fair hand, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, free-roaming dinosaurs, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 44.504 billion Ptarmigans enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The relatively small, corrupt, outspoken government prioritizes Education, although Administration, Industry, and Law & Order are also considered important, while Defense and Spirituality receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ptarmtown. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 30.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Ptarmigansian economy, worth an astonishing 11,600 trillion tootoos a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Book Publishing, and Tourism. Average income is an amazing 260,662 tootoos, with the richest citizens earning 5.7 times as much as the poorest.

The newest East Lebatuckese coins have "long live East Lebatuck" on heads and "death to Ptarmigans" on tails, every workday begins with group therapy, hedge fund managers are diversifying into herbaceous borders, and sex-ed is child's play. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ptarmigans's national animal is the wombat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is theoteleomorphism.

Ptarmigans is ranked 100,576^th in the world and 1^st in Westingforia for Largest Black Market, with 2.45 trillion Standard Monetary Units.