The District of Pitcairn Isles is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by privy council chairman with a fair hand, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, complete lack of public education, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 33.407 billion Pitcairn Islanders live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Healthcare, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of District City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 6.3%.

The very strong Pitcairn Islesian economy, worth a remarkable 1,560 trillion juno aurums a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is led by the Gambling industry, with significant contributions from Cheese Exports, Uranium Mining, and Information Technology. Average income is 46,712 juno aurums, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 142,697 per year while the poor average 11,852, a ratio of 12.0 to 1.

Military funding has been stripped back, Pitcairn Isles has designated District City as its capital city, Privy council chairman has just been declared ruler of Pitcairn Isles in an international press conference, and the government's official stance on religion is that it is so very silly. Crime is a problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Pitcairn Isles's national animal is the quick pink fox, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Pitcairn Isles is ranked 259,550^th in the world and 6^th in Pitcairn Island for Lowest Crime Rates, with 46.73 law-abiding acts per hour.