The Republic of Patrick Cripps is a colossal, efficient nation, remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, compulsory military service, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, hard-working, devout population of 3.528 billion Patrick Crippsians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large, moralistic government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Education, and Industry are also considered important. The average income tax rate is 48.7%.

The powerhouse Patrick Crippsian economy, worth 253 trillion bitcoins a year, is fairly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Woodchip Exports, Uranium Mining, and Gambling. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 71,844 bitcoins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.3 times as much as the poorest.

Farmers have taken to hunting billionaires who encroach on their land, nobody likes bad boys any more, no one gossips with Leader during diplomatic summits, and military pilots spend more time scraping feathers off their engines than flying their aircraft. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Patrick Cripps's national animal is the crocodile, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways.

Patrick Cripps is ranked 113,046^th in the world and 35^th in AFL for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 719.85 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.