The Colony of Parkey is a massive, safe nation, renowned for its pith helmet sales, strictly enforced bedtime, and enslaved workforce. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 2.311 billion Parkeyians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, moralistic morass — juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Education, and Healthcare. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 91.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Parkeyian economy, worth 196 trillion rubles a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Uranium Mining industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology and Retail. Average income is 84,831 rubles, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 300,276 per year while the poor average 17,303, a ratio of 17.4 to 1.

Veterans' meet-ups involve a lot of tail sniffing, the nation has nearly as many history museums as Parkeyians, the new Beaver Supremacy Party is faring well in the polls, and people have become comfortably numb. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Parkey's national animal is the beaver, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Parkey is ranked 44,551^st in the world and 14^th in Lonia Kreptia Llor for Rudest Citizens, with 89.95 insults per minute.