The Region Holder of Paperwait is a titanic, socially progressive nation, remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, irreverence towards religion, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 10.457 billion Paperwaitians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, although Education and Healthcare are also considered important, while Spirituality and International Aid aren't funded at all. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 4.8%.

The strong Paperwaitian economy, worth 637 trillion sand grains a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Basket Weaving, and Retail. Average income is 60,971 sand grains, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 367,478 per year while the poor average 4,550, a ratio of 80.8 to 1.

Military spending is on the increase, five-year-olds who refuse to line up on command get gold stars, the nation has become a pariah for giving pirates letters of marque, and retail stores are known for creating their own oddly-similar holidays in the months preceding any major festivity. Crime, especially youth-related, is a major problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Paperwait's national animal is the sloth, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Paperwait is ranked 51,154^th in the world and 6^th in The Confederacy of Dunces for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 89.92 on the Bus Surprisal Index.