The Old Crotchty Guy of Olde Delaware is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by The Governor with an even hand, and renowned for its unlimited-speed roads, ubiquitous missile silos, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, humorless population of 34.79 billion Olde Delawareans have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Olde Delaware City. The average income tax rate is 98.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Olde Delawarean economy, worth a remarkable 8,100 trillion Deltas a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 232,827 Deltas, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Scientists take credit every time it rains in Britannia, museums claim to have displayed famous artwork before it was cool, diplomats miss flights while wandering Olde Delaware City Airport's endless art maze, and stranded mountaineers can watch livestreamed footage of their rescues. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Olde Delaware's national animal is the Owl, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Olde Delaware is ranked 292,961^st in the world and 183^rd in Britannia for Largest Trout Fishing Sector, scoring -7.1 on the Nemo Depletion Efficiency Index.