The Guardians of North Akia is a titanic, efficient nation, ruled by Tony Horncastle with an iron fist, and notable for its closed borders, frequent executions, and zero percent divorce rate. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 15.198 billion North Akians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Education, Administration, and Environment also on the agenda, while Spirituality and International Aid aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hemmingsby. The average income tax rate is 34.4%.

The powerhouse North Akian economy, worth a remarkable 1,265 trillion bitcoins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, Trout Farming, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 83,277 bitcoins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.6 times as much as the poorest.

Rag-wearing teachers are often mistaken for homeless people, wood-framed catapults are ready to launch diseased corpses into besieged cities, park rangers struggle to deal with a rash of stolen pic-a-nic baskets, and the lactose-intolerant are force-fed cheese products with predictably gassy results. Crime is moderate, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. North Akia's national animal is the Duck, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

North Akia is ranked 71,797^th in the world and 1^st in North Legion for Highest Poor Incomes, with 41,845.94 Standard Monetary Units.