The Allied States of Malapessima is a huge, socially progressive nation, remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, irreverence towards religion, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 873 million Malapessimen live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Welfare, although Industry, Education, and Healthcare are also considered important, while Spirituality and Administration receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of WcPonziWorld. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 4.8%.

The powerhouse Malapessiman economy, worth 63.4 trillion WcPonziCoin™s a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Gambling industry, with significant contributions from Automobile Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Retail. Average income is 72,622 WcPonziCoin™s, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 273,907 per year while the poor average 13,413, a ratio of 20.4 to 1.

Popular candidates who don't suffer last-second political scandals tend to get fished out of the WcPonziWorld River, automotive regulators are throwing in the towel, APCs on school runs disgorge kids via assault ramps, and the government runs a surplus by selling its citizens. Crime is a major problem, probably because of the absence of a police force. Malapessima's national animal is the sea slug, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Malapessima is ranked 315,343^rd in the world and 1,195^th in Concord for Safest, scoring 7.47 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.