The Republic of James Milner is a huge, orderly nation, renowned for its national health service, keen interest in outer space, and prohibition of alcohol. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 984 million James Milnerians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 55.5%.

The thriving James Milnerian economy, worth 97.5 trillion Balls a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, quite specialized black market in Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Trout Farming. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 99,135 Balls, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.4 times as much as the poorest.

Diplomatic fallout tends to be much more dangerous than radioactive fallout, preservative manufacturers are told to put a lid on it, the nation's declaring that sharing nukes is caring, and sales of disinfectant wipes have skyrocketed. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. James Milner's national animal is the Ball, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

James Milner is ranked 106,923^rd in the world and 33^rd in Football for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 796.91 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.