The Republic of Hamew Captopia is a massive, cultured nation, notable for its museums and concert halls, rampant corporate plagiarism, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 1.418 billion Hamew Captopians are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The relatively small, corrupt, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Healthcare. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 26.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Hamew Captopian economy, worth 221 trillion lire a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 155,879 lire, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,401,173 per year while the poor average 2,178, a ratio of 643 to 1.

Eminent domain has been abolished, parents are always up to speed on the latest childcare techniques, convicts released after being found "wrongfully imprisoned" are surprisingly chill about the whole thing, and highway rest stops are stocking up on fallout scrubbing kits. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Hamew Captopia's national animal is the cobra, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Hamew Captopia is ranked 9,563^rd in the world and 8^th in The Khamen Union for Most Cultured, scoring 117 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.