The Waffles of GIR- is a gargantuan, efficient nation, notable for its complete lack of prisons, absence of drug laws, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-working population of 19.8 billion Girians enjoy some of the most opulent lifestyles in the region, unless they are unemployed or working-class, in which case they are variously starving to death or crippled by easily preventable diseases.

The relatively small, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Welfare. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 10.0%.

The very strong Girian economy, worth 913 trillion Waffleses a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Retail, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Gambling. Average income is 46,151 Waffleses, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 331,994 per year while the poor average 2,066, a ratio of 160 to 1.

Voting is compulsory, public nudity is compulsory, employers may fire workers without giving any reason, and military spending is on the increase. Crime is a major problem, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. GIR-'s national animal is the Squirrel.

GIR- is ranked 286,703^rd in the world and 3^rd in Irk for Lowest Crime Rates, with 37.17 law-abiding acts per hour.