The Republic of Fire Hydrant is a mammoth, pleasant nation, renowned for its burgeoning beaver population. The hard-working population of 6.32 billion Fire Hydrantians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Welfare. The average income tax rate is 12.3%.

The Fire Hydrantian economy, worth 325 trillion deniers a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Pizza Delivery industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is 51,424 deniers, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.6 times as much as the poorest.

Crime is relatively low, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Fire Hydrant's national animal is the beaver, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Fire Hydrant is ranked 179,695^th in the world and 48^th in Paperwork for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 42 on the Kitten Softness Rating.