The Commonwealth of Failend is a titanic, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by K-Punk with a fair hand, and renowned for its state-planned economy, absence of drug laws, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic population of 17.502 billion Failendians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The medium-sized, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lead City. The average income tax rate is 52.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but sluggish Failendian economy, worth 462 trillion rupees a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is fairly diversified, is led by the Trout Farming industry, with significant contributions from Basket Weaving, Cheese Exports, and Pizza Delivery. Average income is 26,439 rupees, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The combined alert sound of a nation simultaneously receiving a text message is a common cause of hearing damage, invasive drug testing is now performed at elementary school sports days, it is believed that belligerence is a passing phase foreign leaders will soon outgrow, and the mouth-frothing Failendian can be confused for a rabid kiwi. Crime is totally unknown. Failend's national animal is the kiwi, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Haha.

Failend is ranked 27,949^th in the world and 1^st in The Union of Fascist Countries for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 51.81 on the Kitten Softness Rating.