The United Socialist States of Euro 069 is a colossal, orderly nation, renowned for its otherworldly petting zoo, zero percent divorce rate, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 6.726 billion Euro 069ians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Law & Order, and Defense. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 41.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Euro 069ian economy, worth 691 trillion Cards a year, is broadly diversified and dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Soda Sales, Retail, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 102,790 Cards, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 418,460 per year while the poor average 16,762, a ratio of 25.0 to 1.

The new iVote app allows representatives to vote on legislation by launching ill-tempered birds and matching candies, when shaking hands with foreign leaders Leader wears an armoured gauntlet, convicted criminals are given free limo rides to jail, and Leader's luxurious new home has been designated as a protected cultural heritage site. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Euro 069's national animal is the Raven, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Euro 069 is ranked 38,591^st in the world and 377^th in Memeland United for Lowest Crime Rates, with 78.28 law-abiding acts per hour.