The Nocturnal Friendship of Eli the Vampire is a mammoth, safe nation, ruled by her love for Oskar with a fair hand, and notable for its compulsory vegetarianism, hatred of cheese, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic population of 6.721 billion Friends are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, socially-minded, outspoken government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Environment, Welfare, and Education. The average income tax rate is 83.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but underdeveloped nightly economy, worth 204 trillion Rubik's Cubes a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is solely comprised of the Book Publishing industry. State-owned companies are the norm. Average income is 30,461 Rubik's Cubes, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Truth is often impossible to tell from fiction on the evening news, the Eli the Vampire Enquirer offers weekly cash prizes for 'most blasphemous song, story, or cartoon', prime commercial land is being swamped with archaeological teams, and the government's official position on invasive species is 'who cares?'. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Eli the Vampire's national animal is the Owl, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Eli the Vampire is ranked 256,857^th in the world and 3^rd in San Diego for Largest Trout Fishing Sector, scoring -4.38 on the Nemo Depletion Efficiency Index.