The Colony of E69 is a massive, efficient nation, remarkable for its spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-working, democratic population of 1.314 billion E69ians enjoy frequent elections, which are uniformly corrupted by big-spending corporations buying politicians who best suit their interests.

The relatively small, moralistic, pro-business, outspoken government prioritizes Defense, with Healthcare, Welfare, and Education also on the agenda, while International Aid receives no funds. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 9.5%.

The very strong E69ian economy, worth 70.3 trillion pesos a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Woodchip Exports, Pizza Delivery, and Uranium Mining. Average income is 53,490 pesos, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 195,547 per year while the poor average 10,378, a ratio of 18.8 to 1.

Harry Potter books are banned, new homeowners go furniture hunting with crowbars, the people are famous throughout the region for their perfect yellow teeth, and E69's army is full of two-metre tall super-soldiers. Crime is a problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. E69's national animal is the dove, which can occasionally be seen dodging aircraft in the nation's cities.

E69 is ranked 201,092^nd in the world and 54^th in Card Slavery for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring zero on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.