by Max Barry

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The Benevolent Queendom of
Democratic Socialists

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

2

The Benevolent Queendom of Divine Cervine History - 2018 July - August

The Benevolent Queendom of Divine Cervine History
2018

July - August

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July 1st, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 2,625th in the world and 98th in Lazarus for Highest Average Incomes, with 249,006.21 Standard Monetary Units.
    • Divine Cervine has one of the largest offshore wind farms in the world. #0263
    • Welfare funding has recently gone through the roof. #0164
    • Occam's razor has sliced to pieces any childhood belief in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. #0897
    • UFO sightings are listed daily in the morning news. #0081
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July 2nd, 2018

    • Laser-wielding robots are taking aim at human hearts. #1018 DISMISS lowers Income Equality 99.16 → 98.64 -0.52%

July 3rd, 2018

    • Tourists from around the world come to visit the country's famous rainforests. #0023
    • The government has adopted a "Lightning Never Strikes Twice" approach to dealing with natural disasters. #0252
    • The most penniless demographics have by far the highest number of researchers per capita. #0763
    • Burning twigs to keep warm while lost in the wild is now a felony. #0590

July 4th, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 33rd in the world and 2nd in Lazarus for Nicest Citizens, with 177.25 Average Smiles Per Day.
    • Enchanted Wildwood has become the number one destination for urban exploration in Lazarus. #0518
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July 5th, 2018

    • School plays were recently banned due to concerns of child endangerment. #0501
    • The government has declared victoria over the cheese menace. #0507
    • The nation's politicians are known more for the internet memes they spawn than any of their accomplishments. #0963
    • All statues and paintings of dogs are being destroyed to avoid offending cat-lovers. #0701

July 7th, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 10th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Most Inclusive, scoring 727.21 on the Mandela-Wollstonecraft Non-Discrimination Index.
    • Criminals and college students are taking an interest in the government's new weed-killing program. #0505
    • Economic planning is exalted as a human art form. #0472
    • There are no more heroes any more. #0935
    • Space shuttles regularly launch rubbish into space. #0097
    • Divine Cervine gained the banner Platform for Expansion by developing a very large industrial base.
    • Maxtopian villagers starve by the time Divine Cervinean officials even file the appropriate paperwork needed to help them. #0654
    • Printing out government documents requires the approval of at least three admins. #0800
    • Couples are discouraged from marrying until they can rank their partner on a scale of one to ten. #1023

July 8th, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 333rd in the world and 6th in Lazarus for Smartest Citizens, with 273.48 Quips Per Hour.
    • Some Divine Cervinean athletes have defected to Blackacre after being denied the chance to compete in international sporting events. #0573
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July 9th, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 632nd in the world and 7th in Lazarus for Most Income Equality, scoring 98.95 on the Marx-Engels Emancipation Scale.
    • All beauty contests have been banned. #0101
    • Pushy mums tell their kids to be doctors and engineers but steer them away from being penniless lawyers. #0601
    • Park rangers struggle to deal with a rash of stolen pic-a-nic baskets. #0557
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July 10th, 2018

    • Brancalandian Brie isn't available anywhere in Divine Cervine. #0922
    • The "Underwear of Women in Power" issue of The Enchanted Wildwood Times is sold out. #0275
    • Divine Cervine's Civil Rights rose from Very Good to Excellent.

July 11th, 2018

    • Posters on 'Divine Cervinean Values' advise against being proud of Divine Cervine. #1026
    • The words 'private' and 'enterprise' must never appear in the same sentence. #0152
    • The national policy allowing Public Protest has been cancelled. The right to public protest is considered to be essential.

July 12th, 2018

    • Counselors have to sign pledges supporting gay rights before they can speak to any patients. #0616
    • Excited shovel-bearing geeks wander the countryside. #0630

July 13th, 2018

    • Tax-payers are funding ever more extravagant movie projects. #0440
    • Relations with Dàguó have warmed from frosty to chilly. #0610

July 14th, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 6,330th in the world and 302nd in Lazarus for Highest Economic Output, with 1,715 trillion Standard Monetary Units.
    • People reciting Shakespeare have become a common sight. #0056
    • The Finance Ministry posts hourly updates on where taxpayer money is spent. #0551
    • Organ donation is compulsory. #0026
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July 15th, 2018

    • High-income earners pay a 100% tax rate. #0018
    • Almost all of the nation's water is piped into the country from abroad for exorbitant prices. #0264
    • Cotton candy made from genuine cotton cellulose doesn't quite satisfy. #0811
    • The government has instituted 'traveller reservations' across the country. #0198

July 16th, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 844th in the world and 45th in Lazarus for Most Advanced Law Enforcement, scoring 15,726.02 on the Orwell Orderliness Index.
    • There's never enough space in space. #0754
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July 17th, 2018

    • The government is continually probing the galaxy in search of alien life. #0589
    • Queen Arbeaone can often be found attempting to coax random citizens' cats down from trees. #0756
    • The nation's war memorials are being torn down and replaced with peace gardens. #0378

July 18th, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 122nd in the world and 3rd in Lazarus for Safest, scoring 206.57 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.
    • Queen Arbeaone panders to nontraditional families. #0432
    • Employers are finding it hard to screen candidates now that everyone gets A grades in their exams. #0830
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July 19th, 2018

    • Traumatised refugees have a full bedpan shoved into their hands along with their immigration papers. #1028
    • Schools have extensive counseling programs for troubled students. #0062
    • Military strategists are questioning the wisdom of subsidizing the economies of sworn enemies. #0663

July 20th, 2018

    • Every workday begins with group therapy. #0496
    • Farting etiquette is taught in schools. #0946
    • The nation's youth would rather watch paint dry than the news. #0776
    • Future forecasters fearfully discuss grey goo and human obsolescence. #0626

July 21st, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 28th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Most Developed, scoring 99.43 on the Human Development Index.
    • The sound of wooden legs echo throughout Divine Cervine after the recent introduction of the Foot Tax. #0135
    • Eau de Trashcan has become a wildly popular perfume. #0689
    • The nation's ambassadors often conduct their business in jail cells. #0912
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July 23rd, 2018

    • Politicians have seen a significant reduction in followers on their social media accounts. #0992
    • Super Barry Brothers is the most popular video game in the nation. #0485
    • Panicking criminals no longer flush contraband down the toilet. #1030
    • Conductors wield diamond-encrusted batons to fit in with their freshly gilded surroundings. #0293
    • Sales of disinfectant wipes have skyrocketed. #0786
    • Sullen teenagers in bright orange 'community payback' onesies can be seen picking litter at the roadside. #0543
    • Divine Cervine's Civil Rights fell from Excellent to Very Good.

July 24th, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 27th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Most Developed, scoring 99.44 on the Human Development Index.
    • Illegal hunting is rife after veganism was recently made compulsory. #0205
    • The new Refuse Hills housing development is under construction. #0342
    • The government recently donated a surfboard to an impoverished family in a landlocked region. #0908
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July 25th, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 2,492nd in the world and 97th in Lazarus for Highest Average Incomes, with 252,733.41 Standard Monetary Units.
    • RPG fans reminisce fondly about when people thought they were evil and dangerous rather than geeky and socially inept. #0624
    • The government sends submarines to retrieve bodies from shipwrecked submarines. #1029
    • Students memorise knock-knock jokes for their mandatory twice-a-term Comedy Examinations. #0522
    • Children are brainwashed at a young age to accept "love and peace!" as a way of life. #0190
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July 26th, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 114th in the world and 4th in Lazarus for Healthiest Citizens, with 52.72 Bananas Ingested Per Day.
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July 27th, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 59th in the world and 3rd in Lazarus for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 11,136.98 on the Clooney Contribution Index.
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July 28th, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 5,117th in the world and 276th in Lazarus for Most Efficient Economies, scoring 100 on the Krugman-Greenspan Business Outlook Index.
    • Queen Arbeaone's media campaigns take a hiatus around exam week. #0773
    • Anti-government web sites are springing up. #0037 dismiss
    • Newly synthesized elements' half-lives are a million times shorter than the time it takes to say their names. #0798
    • Turning the other cheek is accompanied by a polite letter of complaint. #1034
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July 29th, 2018



    • Divine Cervine is ranked 4,205th in the world and 183rd in Lazarus for Largest Publishing Industry, scoring 18,201.74 on the Bella Potter Productivity e-Index.
    • Workers have seized control of the economy. #0339 DISMISS increases Economic Freedom -99.33 → -98.22 +1.1%, Wealth Gaps 1.01 → 1.02 +0.99%, decreases Income Equality 99.37 → 98.33 -1.0%
    • Divine Cervine's Political Freedoms rose from Superb to World Benchmark.
    • The national policy for Autocracy has been cancelled. The nation does not hold democratic elections.
    • The national policy for Devolution has been installed. Government power is substantially delegated to local authorities.
    • The national policy for Public Protest has been reinstalled. The right to public protest is considered to be essential.
    • Divine Cervine was ranked in the Top 10% of the world and of Lazarus for Most Politically Free.
    • Elementary school students are required to master Bach's Chaconne in D before graduation. #0959
    • National parks have long lines of different gender-specific 'Porta-Pottys'. #0297

July 30th, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 73rd in the world and 3rd in Lazarus for Highest Average Tax Rates, with 107.22 Effective Tax Rate.
    • Elections are outlawed and a hairstylist has recently received a government appointment. #0054
    • Divine Cervine was reclassified from Liberal Democratic Socialists to Democratic Socialists.
    • Divine Cervine's Political Freedoms fell from World Benchmark to Very Good.
    • The national policy for Autocracy has been reinstalled. The nation does not hold democratic elections.
    • The national policy for Devolution has been cancelled. Government power is substantially delegated to local authorities.
    • The Fashion Channel can only be viewed on widescreen TVs. #0887

July 31st, 2018

    • Shelters struggle to keep up with the endless intake of stray animals. #0431
    • The nation grinds to a halt for afternoon tea. #0768

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August 3rd, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 33rd in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Nicest Citizens, with 179.6 Average Smiles Per Day.
    • Queen Arbeaone's luxurious new home has been designated as a protected cultural heritage site. #0600
    • There is a dearth of space for new houses. #0331
    • Pandemics are over and done with by the time it takes to pass the nation's stringent border security. #0950
    • The banshee wail foretells skies of death. #0974
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August 4th, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 212th in the world and 6th in Lazarus for Highest Workforce Participation Rate, with 97.12 Workforce Participation Rate.
    • The reams of paperwork accompanying any electronic item are a recognised contributor to national deforestation. #0890
    • There's a literal nanny state for the legions of children taken by social services. #0739
    • One tree's worth of paperwork accompanies each imported log of timber. #0937
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August 6th, 2018

    • Conspiracy theorists allege that the government is spying on them through their carbon monoxide detectors. #0834
    • Scoutmasters debate whether luxury log cabins defeat the purpose of camping. #0661
    • The horniness of the great-horned purple fairy deer is considered a national priority. #0986
    • Grumbling early morning commuters bemoan having to travel to work in the dark. #0821
    • Judicial robes are the country's hottest fashion trend. #0765

August 7th, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 27th in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Most Developed, scoring 99.45 on the Human Development Index.
    • The national anthem is a rather effective sleeping aid. #0633
    • It is believed that belligerence is a passing phase foreign leaders will soon outgrow. #0813
    • Arbitration is mightier than the sword. #0131
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August 9th, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 2,470th in the world and 95th in Lazarus for Highest Average Incomes, with 253,254.25 Standard Monetary Units.
    • Excessive wheelchair ramps on government buildings have been compared to theme park attractions. #0659
    • Bemused citizens are encouraged to sing foreign-language hymns of religions they have never heard of. #0632
    • The nation locks people up and tells them they're mad for compassion's sake. #1037
    • Foreign policy is to avoid standing up to bullies. #0981
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August 10th, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 52nd in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Best Weather, with 1,823 Meters Of Sunlight.
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August 11th, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 785th in the world and 46th in Lazarus for Most Advanced Law Enforcement, scoring 16,036.46 on the Orwell Orderliness Index.
    • Census workers struggle to account for the rapidly increasing number of citizens to tabulate. #0491
    • Divine Cervine's Civil Rights rose from Very Good to Excellent.
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August 12th, 2018

    • The nation has an international reputation for compassion. #0036
    • Mantis shrimp studies is academia's fastest-growing field. #0373
    • Queen Arbeaone's office has a newly installed Max-Man arcade game programmed by a 5th-grader. #0683
    • Pretending to be prejudiced is a good way to get out of jury duty. #0858
    • Literature classes frequently go on field trips to rock concerts. #1031

August 13th, 2018

    • Anti-government political posters adorn every building like wallpaper. #0207
    • Student athletes gaze forlornly at abandoned purple fairy deerball fields. #0415
    • Retirement homes are often fitted with luxurious suites. #0122
    • The nation's taxpayers pay for foreign government's extravagances. #0677

August 15th, 2018

    • Consumption of cat memes has skyrocketed. #0353
    • Divine Cervine has gained the banner Server Room for developing a strong technology industry.
    • Artists are pillars of society. #0124
    • Badminton was recently banned due to 'unacceptable violence' inherent to the game. #0239
    • Political talk shows often have children as guests whenever they need commentary on world religions. #0598

August 16th, 2018

    • All the playground's a stage for Divine Cervinean schoolchildren. #0984
    • Young children are learning advanced physics to scientifically disprove the existence of Santa Claus. #0556

August 17th, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 6,043rd in the world and 298th in Lazarus for Highest Economic Output, with 1,793 trillion Standard Monetary Units.
    • Prime real estate is devoted to wind farms and solar energy generators. #0069
    • The government seeks peaceful forum with terrorists. #0222
    • The nation's politicians are known more for the internet memes they spawn than any of their accomplishments. #0963
    • Supervisors in Divine Cervine commonly tie bells on their necks to alert employees of their presence. #0732
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August 18th, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 881st in the world and 14th in Lazarus for Most Income Equality, scoring 98.43 on the Marx-Engels Emancipation Scale.
    • Tourists from around the world come to visit the country's famous rainforests. #0023
    • Groups of government workers are declared protected tribes if they venture too deep into the Capitol. #0490
    • Calling dibs is an unalienable right. #0719
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August 20th, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 1,127th in the world and 43rd in Lazarus for Most Advanced Public Transport, scoring 8,820.41 on the Societal Mobility Rating.
    • The government spends more on chasing distant comets than on basic infrastructure. #0419
    • The government is promoting multicultural values with the new 'Just Be Nice, OK?' initiative. #0262
    • The seventh son of a seventh son is fated to be a millionaire. #0995
    • A vast monorail network carries people all over the country. #0083
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August 21st, 2018

    • Unpackaged foodstuffs rot on store shelves. #0667
    • The experimental sculpture "Overtures In Dried Purple Fairy Deer Dung" has been declared a national treasure. #0856
    • Students are wary of colorfully decorated new teachers with names like Professor Pipsqueak. #0276
    • The government awards prizes to television shows featuring stereotype-breaking minority roles. #0029
    • The nation is currently revamping its entire education system. #0064
    • Cogitators and mass debaters are skiving off work to hang around the National Symposium Park. #0803

August 22nd, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 351st in the world and 9th in Lazarus for Highest Poor Incomes, with 253,223.85 Standard Monetary Units.
    • Children are raised bilingual from an early age. #0071
    • Occam's razor has sliced to pieces any childhood belief in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. #0897
    • Listless juries are assembled for the simplest of court cases. #0410
    • Divine Cervine was reclassified from Democratic Socialists to a Scandinavian Liberal Paradise.
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August 23rd, 2018

    • The installation of street lights across remote goat tracks has left citizens bemused. #0462
    • Builders across Divine Cervine are blocked up with orders for new public loos. #0525
    • Citizens are frequently searched for illegal weapons. #0149
    • Divine Cervine was reclassified from a Scandinavian Liberal Paradise to Democratic Socialists.

August 25th, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 21st in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 262.24 on the Kitten Softness Rating.
    • Both diets and economic output are growing leaner with recent restrictions to free trade. #0685
    • A suspicious number of male students have joined the Ladies' Wrestling League. #0750
    • Divine Cervine was reclassified from Democratic Socialists to a Scandinavian Liberal Paradise.
    • Space research funding has hit a recent high while several military bases are being closed down. #0053
    • Carbon-footprint restrictions are making businesses walk. #0675

August 26th, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 31st in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Nicest Citizens, with 182.09 Average Smiles Per Day.
    • Authorities are looking for a stool pigeon to rat out who is stealing food from pigeon toilets. #0758
    • Elderly citizens regularly buy posh multimillion-¤ luminous orb mansions. #0127
    • Therapists can always squeeze in another house-call. #1049
    • Maxtopian villagers starve by the time Divine Cervinean officials even file the appropriate paperwork needed to help them. #0654
    • Queen Arbeaone has more friends than ever before. #0602
    • Psychiatrists bizarrely accompany Queen Arbeaone to meetings with foreign heads of state. #0915

August 27th, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 33rd in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 38,856.17 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.
    • Tourists outnumber citizens two to one. #0292
    • Scientists earn more grant money for reproducing old experiments than trying anything new. #0999
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August 28th, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 5,613th in the world and 235th in Lazarus for Most Secular, with 96.81 Atheism Rate.
    • Queen Arbeaone's luxurious new home has been designated as a protected cultural heritage site. #0600
    • The Divine Cervinean Intelligence Agency relies on internet search engines to know what is happening overseas. #0653
    • The WhoTube comments section has gone strangely quiet. #0636
    • Divine Cervine was reclassified from a Scandinavian Liberal Paradise to Democratic Socialists.
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August 29th, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 9,372nd in the world and 193rd in Lazarus for Most Stationary, with 1,197.7075668 Days.
    • The phrase 'spreading like wildfire' is no longer in the public lexicon. #0628
    • Women have a strange proclivity for dressing up as caped weasels. #0838
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August 30th, 2018


    • Divine Cervine is ranked 41st in the world and 1st in Lazarus for Longest Average Lifespans, with 98.44 Years.
    • Terrorists are on a first name basis with the officials that stamp their passports. #0670
    • Rare art has become a significant factor in negotiating all foreign trade agreements. #0492
    • The nation has nearly as many history museums as Divine Deerlings. #0637
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August 31st, 2018


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