The Abandoned ExNation of Cornessee is a titanic, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Old King Corni Corn Corn Corn with an iron fist, and remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, ubiquitous missile silos, and national health service. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 14.922 billion Cornesseeans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized morass — juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cobb. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 76.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Cornesseean economy, worth a remarkable 1,202 trillion Cornessee coins a year, is quite specialized and led by the Woodchip Exports industry, with significant contributions from Cheese Exports, Information Technology, and Furniture Restoration. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is 80,563 Cornessee coins, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 297,772 per year while the poor average 15,364, a ratio of 19.4 to 1.

EULAs remind customers that "Private Mode" is a browser setting rather than a promise, scrapyards are filled with Old King Corni Corn Corn Corn's face, rag-wearing teachers are often mistaken for homeless people, and bureaucrats close new businesses for not complying with the Penguin Packaging Index. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cornessee's national animal is the Cornessee Swan, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Cornchipist Fundamentalists.

Cornessee is ranked 307,767^th in the world and 104^th in The Dudlands for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring -9.69 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.