The Matriarchy of Coldness is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, renowned for its suspicion of poets. The cynical population of 4.485 billion Coldnessians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. The average income tax rate is 20.1%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The Coldnessian economy, worth 198 trillion Delta Eagles a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 44,169 Delta Eagles, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

Engine room hooch is the drink of choice among the nation's navy, citizens must pay to enjoy Coldness's pristine beaches, political candidates who don't release their birth certificates are presumed to have been born in Maxtopia, and consumption of cat memes has skyrocketed. Crime, especially youth-related, is almost non-existent, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Coldness's national animal is the Kitsune, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Coldness is ranked 186,013^th in the world and 7^th in King Edward Point for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 42 on the Kitten Softness Rating.