The Stimulated Nation of Caffeinated is a titanic, efficient nation, ruled by Random Joe with a fair hand, and remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, ubiquitous missile silos, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 13.76 billion Caffeinatedians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The relatively small, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The City That Never Sleeps. The average income tax rate is 8.9%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Caffeinatedian economy, worth a remarkable 5,968 trillion Cappuccino Coinzes a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Soda Sales, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is notable. Average income is an amazing 433,779 Cappuccino Coinzes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

The government extracts trade concessions from poor nations in exchange for humanitarian aid, the people have taken "Hail Random Joe" as an invitation to lob rocks, groups of three or more trees are cut down in the name of 'child safety', and abortions are routinely performed in the nation's hospitals. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Caffeinated's national animal is the Walking Coffee Plant, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is None but drinking decaf is a sin.

Caffeinated is ranked 8,609^th in the world and 30^th in Europeia for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring 8,944.73 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.