The Satanic empire underground of Cafe Hell is a huge, orderly nation, renowned for its vat-grown people, zero percent divorce rate, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 687 million souls sold for dollars 5 are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The relatively small, corrupt, pro-business government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Industry, Administration, and Education also on the agenda, while International Aid and Spirituality aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hell. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 26.6%.

The frighteningly efficient devil's eye economy, worth 77.8 trillion Monies of Burning Wells of Underground a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is extensive. Average income is an impressive 113,317 Monies of Burning Wells of Underground, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 871,373 per year while the poor average 3,946, a ratio of 220 to 1.

Citizens are grown in vats, kids building model rockets in their backyard are grounded by Space Agency Rangers, pharmacists increasingly claim they are morally obligated to take long lunches, and life is short but human kindness is endless. Crime is a major problem. Cafe Hell's national animal is the evil spirit, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Cafe Hell is ranked 75,080^th in the world and 2,410^th in The East Pacific for Most Extreme, scoring 22.74 on the Paul-Nader Subjective Decentrality Index.