The 👁 evil watch you at night👿 of Cafe Hell is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Belial Gorgo Coyote d̸̨̮̹̜͔̹̎̀͌̈́̐̄̓̍͐̀́͘ with an iron fist, and remarkable for its vat-grown people, punitive income tax rates, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 1.32 billion Little Minions are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Industry, Law & Order, and Administration are also considered important, while International Aid and Spirituality are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of hell's light in satan's hands 👿. The average income tax rate is 51.7%.

The frighteningly efficient d̸̨̮̹̜͔̹̤̞̝̫̤̟̎̀͌̈́̐̄̓̍͐̀́͘͜͜👿 economy, worth 269 trillion Monies of Burning Wells of underground👿 a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Retail, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 204,174 Monies of Burning Wells of underground👿, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.1 times as much as the poorest.

Society has literally been thrown to the wolves, local councils have to call in dump trucks to clear parks of dinosaur droppings, failed genetic experiments wreak havoc as they roam the countryside, and monarchs only get custody of the royal crown on holidays and weekends. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cafe Hell's national animal is the Demoniac Test number 666d̸̎̀͌̈́̐̄̓̍͐̀́͘👿, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Church of 6 demons with upsidedown cross.

Cafe Hell is ranked 208,300^th in the world and 6,636^th in The East Pacific for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring -10.95 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.