by Max Barry

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Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1,265thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 1,901stFattest Citizens: 2,596th
The 👁 evil watch you at night👿 of
Iron Fist Consumerists
Extermination Of Good In Progress
Belial Gorgo Coyote d̸̨̮̹̜͔̹̎̀͌̈́̐̄̓̍͐̀́͘
Influence
Page
Civil Rights
Rare
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Factbook Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Cafe Hell

Population1.32 billion

Capitalhell's light in satan's hands 👿
LeaderBelial Gorgo Coyote d̸̨̮̹̜͔̹̎̀͌̈́̐̄̓̍͐̀́͘
FaithChurch of 6 demons with upsidedown cross

CurrencyMoney of Burning Wells of underground👿
AnimalDemoniac Test number 666d̸̎̀͌̈́̐̄̓̍͐̀́͘👿

The 👁 evil watch you at night👿 of Cafe Hell is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Belial Gorgo Coyote d̸̨̮̹̜͔̹̎̀͌̈́̐̄̓̍͐̀́͘ with an iron fist, and remarkable for its vat-grown people, punitive income tax rates, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 1.32 billion Little Minions are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Industry, Law & Order, and Administration are also considered important, while International Aid and Spirituality are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of hell's light in satan's hands 👿. The average income tax rate is 51.7%.

The frighteningly efficient d̸̨̮̹̜͔̹̤̞̝̫̤̟̎̀͌̈́̐̄̓̍͐̀́͘͜͜👿 economy, worth 269 trillion Monies of Burning Wells of underground👿 a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Retail, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 204,174 Monies of Burning Wells of underground👿, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.1 times as much as the poorest.

Society has literally been thrown to the wolves, local councils have to call in dump trucks to clear parks of dinosaur droppings, failed genetic experiments wreak havoc as they roam the countryside, and monarchs only get custody of the royal crown on holidays and weekends. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cafe Hell's national animal is the Demoniac Test number 666d̸̎̀͌̈́̐̄̓̍͐̀́͘👿, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Church of 6 demons with upsidedown cross.

Cafe Hell is ranked 208,300th in the world and 6,636th in The East Pacific for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring -10.95 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.

Top
1%
Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1,265thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 1,901stTop
5%
Fattest Citizens: 2,596thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2,923rdLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,951stMost Avoided: 3,186thLargest Retail Industry: 3,354thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 3,417thMost Influential: 3,741stHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 4,198thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 4,310thMost Corrupt Governments: 4,667thLargest Mining Sector: 5,019thMost Patriotic: 5,493rdHighest Disposable Incomes: 6,120thHighest Average Incomes: 6,465thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 6,488thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 6,981stLargest Black Market: 7,731stLargest Gambling Industry: 7,926thHighest Poor Incomes: 9,381stMost Subsidized Industry: 9,510thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 10,167thTop
10%
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 11,145thMost Efficient Economies: 11,548thMost Valuable International Artwork: 12,676thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 13,297thMost Secular: 14,760thLargest Agricultural Sector: 18,276thLargest Information Technology Sector: 19,135thMost Authoritarian: 20,146thMost Conservative: 20,259thLargest Governments: 21,050th
Top
1%
Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 33rd in the regionFattest Citizens: 59th in the regionTop
5%
Largest Manufacturing Sector: 78th in the regionMost Avoided: 83rd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 85th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 86th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 97th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 125th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 126th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 142nd in the regionMost Patriotic: 152nd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 159th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 159th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 162nd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 164th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 180th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 206th in the regionLargest Black Market: 218th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 234th in the regionMost Influential: 249th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 255th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 287th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 302nd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 304th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 340th in the regionTop
10%
Highest Wealthy Incomes: 380th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 418th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 465th in the regionMost Secular: 484th in the regionMost Armed: 557th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 587th in the regionLargest Governments: 607th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Cafe Hell, monarchs only get custody of the royal crown on holidays and weekends.
  • : Following new legislation in Cafe Hell, failed genetic experiments wreak havoc as they roam the countryside.
  • : Following new legislation in Cafe Hell, local councils have to call in dump trucks to clear parks of dinosaur droppings.
  • : Following new legislation in Cafe Hell, society has literally been thrown to the wolves.
  • : Cafe Hell was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector.
  • : Cafe Hell lodged a message on the The East Pacific Regional Message Board.
  • : Cafe Hell lodged a message on the The East Pacific Regional Message Board.
  • : Cafe Hell lodged a message on the The East Pacific Regional Message Board.
  • : Following new legislation in Cafe Hell, door-to-door salesmen are frequently beaten up by 'vigilantes'.
  • : Following new legislation in Cafe Hell, it's not just poseurs who wear oversized sound-cancelling headphones as they walk the city streets.

More...

World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 112 » Layngderfleethe, Debluu, Axdel, VW53Aland, The Three States of Fortuna, Santa Dystopia, Talitoa, Servants of Gizmo, Brotherland, Zidium, Lingu, Greater New Cassandra, The Almighty Country, Acronis, The solar ottomans, Technocratic Tagalog, Pirnovo, The Death Syndicate, Dragons Blood, Spiruvania, Wiranath, The Empire of Rijelv, Empire of Dabiristan, Modra, North Bernia, Ridann, Rainbow Vests, Kangarawa, The Soviet Space Commie Union, East Malaysia, Roissyland, Headpat Central, ReeK, Oofery, Danelaw Scandinavia, Sicilianzo, Kublam, Devlon, Vessarlian, Nevertopia, Volinovia, Firenation91, New Leganes, Ripsylvania, Stellar Colonies, Kilkire, Fellon, Interdimensional Waifus, Slongs, Zang0, and 62 others.From New World, 3 14159265358979323846264, Schelemeketew, Trimmania, Bai Lung, Kaigi, Taurora, Survivoristan, Nythi, FreedomIand, Under Upper Antartica, Great Algerstonia, Coruh, Seri Tai Republic, Our Gods, Rhealaliit, Outer Verron Swicia Islands, Cacnesia, Freedom Fascists, Dahom, Enlil, Veterans Association, Maricentria, Aquyia, Blobon, Merlovich, Federated States of Zootron, The Armed Savages, Aivintis, Preat, Arkonstant, Sunsistan, ArenaC, Clarence-Voslage, Northern Celavon, New Bradenia Ghost, Azureano, Seratiago, Wallenburg, Colligation, The island of Kiria, Vuclen, Distro-Spartica, Dravida India, Dannemarie, Formaro, Marrabuk, The Good Party, Developing World, Hizuru, Blobbo, Eastern Alksearia, YSG Hermitcraft, The Atlae Isles, Cham Cha, In Insulam Autem Sanguis Et Magia, Bakla Island, Cametus, CheeseBurrito, Edwardsport, Alemannian Empire, and Squid Ruinosa.

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