by Max Barry

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Greatest Rich-Poor Divides: 1,111thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 2,401stMost World Assembly Endorsements: 3,114th
The Satanic empire underground of
Corporate Police State
Man will be born and taste the bittern-Anton Lavey 1973
Civil Rights
Political Freedom

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Cafe Hell

Population687 million


CurrencyMoney of Burning Wells of Underground
Animalevil spirit

The Satanic empire underground of Cafe Hell is a huge, orderly nation, renowned for its vat-grown people, zero percent divorce rate, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 687 million souls sold for dollars 5 are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The relatively small, corrupt, pro-business government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Industry, Administration, and Education also on the agenda, while International Aid and Spirituality aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hell. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 26.6%.

The frighteningly efficient devil's eye economy, worth 77.8 trillion Monies of Burning Wells of Underground a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is extensive. Average income is an impressive 113,317 Monies of Burning Wells of Underground, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 871,373 per year while the poor average 3,946, a ratio of 220 to 1.

Citizens are grown in vats, kids building model rockets in their backyard are grounded by Space Agency Rangers, pharmacists increasingly claim they are morally obligated to take long lunches, and life is short but human kindness is endless. Crime is a major problem. Cafe Hell's national animal is the evil spirit, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Cafe Hell is ranked 75,080th in the world and 2,410th in The East Pacific for Most Extreme, scoring 22.74 on the Paul-Nader Subjective Decentrality Index.

Greatest Rich-Poor Divides: 1,111thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 2,401stTop
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 3,114thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 3,705thHighest Crime Rates: 3,977thFattest Citizens: 4,641stMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 4,746thMost Avoided: 5,475thLargest Retail Industry: 6,085thHighest Disposable Incomes: 9,262ndMost Secular: 9,688thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 11,132ndLargest Manufacturing Sector: 11,468thMost Armed: 11,929thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 12,028thTop
Most Influential: 13,790thMost Corrupt Governments: 16,055thMost Efficient Economies: 21,446thMost Valuable International Artwork: 21,925thMost Scientifically Advanced: 23,483rd
Greatest Rich-Poor Divides: 20th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 41st in the regionTop
Highest Unexpected Death Rate: 100th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 105th in the regionFattest Citizens: 109th in the regionMost Avoided: 141st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 153rd in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 176th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 242nd in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 257th in the regionMost Armed: 282nd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 294th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 314th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 323rd in the regionMost Secular: 332nd in the regionTop
Highest Drug Use: 462nd in the regionMost Pro-Market: 497th in the regionRudest Citizens: 570th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 573rd in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 656th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 656th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 672nd in the regionMost Influential: 721st in the regionLargest Black Market: 726th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 741st in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 765th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 775th in the region

National Happenings

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