The Republic of Bitcoin is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Emperor Hodl Moon with a fair hand, and renowned for its state-planned economy, unlimited-speed roads, and absence of drug laws. The democratic population of 3.399 billion Bitcoinians love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Satoshi Heights. The average income tax rate is 27.7%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The large but sluggish Bitcoinian economy, worth 100 trillion bitcoins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, broadly diversified black market in Information Technology, Cheese Exports, Uranium Mining, and Trout Farming. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 29,443 bitcoins, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Pulling weeds is seen as a threat to national security, the only things written in the stars are arrest warrants for astrologers, prisons are filled with the cackles and sobs of a deranged inmate population, and almost all of the nation's water is piped into the country from abroad for exorbitant prices. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Bitcoin's national animal is the unicorn, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Moonism.

Bitcoin is ranked 256,415^th in the world and 10^th in United Alliances for Most Primitive, scoring -107.94 on the Scary Big Number Scale.