The Kingdom of Aldhelm is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Madgod Dam Dog with an iron fist, and remarkable for its otherworldly petting zoo, devotion to social welfare, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 1.618 billion Aldhelmians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The large, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Old Sheoth. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 73.9%.

The powerhouse Aldhelmian economy, worth 175 trillion struck coins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, quite specialized black market in Trout Farming, Tourism, Information Technology, and Arms Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 108,546 struck coins, with the richest citizens earning 7.3 times as much as the poorest.

Pet owners make sure their dogs wear diapers, minorities play dumb to get more welfare payments, the most sacred right is the right to ignore the rights of slaves, and harpy eagles are considered a delicacy. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Aldhelm's national animal is the harpy eagle, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Aldhelm is ranked 9,885^th in the world and 1^st in The Northern Cheek for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 4,593.47 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.