The Data Collection of Telemetry is a mammoth, orderly nation, renowned for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, infamous sell-swords, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 6.098 billion Telemetryians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Industry. The average income tax rate is 67.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Telemetryian economy, worth a remarkable 1,113 trillion bronze nickels a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 182,586 bronze nickels, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.8 times as much as the poorest.

Jennifer Government is banned, rockwarblers with strange deformities like three eyes and tentacles have been seen prancing through the countryside where industrial waste is dumped, politicians stage photo ops featuring barely functional fighter jets, and professional athletes juggle part-time jobs to avoid bankruptcy. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Telemetry's national animal is the rockwarbler, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Telemetry is ranked 81,764^th in the world and 233^rd in Aetherius for Nudest, with 176.25 cheeks per square mile.