The Relational Database of MySQL is a mammoth, orderly nation, notable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, zero percent divorce rate, and parental licensing program. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 7.155 billion MySQLians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The medium-sized, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Industry, and Defense. The average income tax rate is 79.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient MySQLian economy, worth a remarkable 1,199 trillion birrs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Trout Farming, and Tourism. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 167,712 birrs, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.

Prisoners work-share to cut down rising costs of keeping them in jail, the military is researching proton packs and PK-meters to combat "unseen enemy forces", foreign musicians that Leader dislikes are turned away at the border, and older citizens lament over the loss of law and order. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. MySQL's national animal is the blackbird, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

MySQL is ranked 61,570^th in the world and 153^rd in Aetherius for Nudest, with 193.25 cheeks per square mile.