The Colony of LoisGriffinia is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Sir Griffin with an iron fist, and remarkable for its frequent executions, avowedly heterosexual populace, and ritual sacrifices. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 1.671 billion LoisGriffinians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Griffinia City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 21.8%.

The frighteningly efficient LoisGriffinian economy, worth 163 trillion Har Bucks a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Gambling, Retail, and Basket Weaving. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is 97,661 Har Bucks, with the richest citizens earning 5.9 times as much as the poorest.

In court almost every witness is a hostile witness, the government seizes all major gold finds, citizens must pay to enjoy LoisGriffinia's pristine beaches, and women who can do math in their head are burned for witchcraft. Crime is a problem, possibly because it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many regulations. LoisGriffinia's national animal is the Lois, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

LoisGriffinia is ranked 184,604^th in the world and 3^rd in East Har for Largest Populations, with 1.67 billion capita.