The Project of EU is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Herman van Rompuy with an even hand, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, ubiquitous missile silos, and compulsory gun ownership. The compassionate population of 31.44 billion EUians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Brussels. The average income tax rate is 57.9%.

The frighteningly efficient EUian economy, worth a remarkable 4,360 trillion euros a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized black market in Book Publishing, Information Technology, Tourism, and Trout Farming. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 138,706 euros, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.2 times as much as the poorest.

Blue bloods are welcome in EU, gay hospital patients are labelled with a pink triangle to alert staff of their substandard blood, raccoons are plump and satiated, and nobody is allowed to stop the local daycare from reading Nietzsche to pre-schoolers. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. EU's national animal is the PIIGS, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

EU is ranked 275,269^th in the world and 187^th in United Kingdom for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring -8.32 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.