The Commonwealth of Melon Heads is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Doge Egusi with an even hand, and renowned for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, irreverence towards religion, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, democratic population of 3.9 billion Melon Heads enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The large, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ianatus. The average income tax rate is 65.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Melon Head economy, worth 296 trillion Pesos a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 75,999 Pesos, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

The government is engaging in an agricultural trade war with Maxtopia, a faint smell of body odour can be detected at several miles' distance from the National Science Park, nature reserves often contain artificial waterfalls and concrete paths, and air purifiers fight smoke machines on Melon Head stage setups. Crime is totally unknown. Melon Heads's national animal is the Possum, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Melon Heads is ranked 148,621^st in the world and 4^th in The Pristine Wilderness for Most Corrupt Governments, with 3.25 kickbacks per hour.