The United States of Mardatan is a titanic, socially progressive nation, ruled by Juni Lahti with an even hand, and notable for its vat-grown people, complete lack of prisons, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate population of 18.774 billion Mardatsi are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Armata. The average income tax rate is 97.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Mardatsi economy, worth a remarkable 4,420 trillion Aldars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is fairly diversified, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 235,434 Aldars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The Armata State Museum is said to be haunted by ghastly musicians playing 'Nearer Violet to Thee', parents who try to organize playdates for their kids have police drop through their ceilings, a firework a day does not in fact keep the doctor away, and scavengers with burlap sacks and shovels skulk around graveyards. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Mardatan's national animal is the Epinadian Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Western Viktorianism.

Mardatan is ranked 8,869^th in the world and 2^nd in Aldorria for Rudest Citizens, with 121.95 insults per minute.