The United Intelligentsia of Malgrave is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Prime Minister Nadzieja Brzezicki with an even hand, and notable for its remarkably easy parental licensing program, feral children, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, cheerful population of 33.349 billion Malgraveans are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Social Policy. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Epping. The average income tax rate is 98.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Malgravean economy, worth a remarkable 6,047 trillion Malvians a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an impressive 181,343 Malvians, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Citizens volunteer for tax audits to avoid the 80-page Practical Assessment Survey Tool On Religions, children are made painfully aware that mommy and daddy love each other more than them, government-sponsored WiFi allows farmers to rant about city folks in real time, and the government is proudly free of crabs. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Malgrave's national animal is the Otter, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Ancestorism.

Malgrave is ranked 9,422^nd in the world and 4^th in Mystria for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 65.68 on the Kitten Softness Rating.