The Owner of Kylesburgh is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Kyle with an iron fist, and remarkable for its complete lack of prisons, anti-smoking policies, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 36.075 billion Kylesburghers are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kylesburgh. The average income tax rate is 72.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Kylesburgher economy, worth a remarkable 6,135 trillion kylesburgh dollars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 170,066 kylesburgh dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

Major boxing matches are held in government buildings, stony-faced prosecutors play loud gangster rap music during court proceedings, the number of deaths due to poor fungus identification is mushrooming, and it's illegal to be caught on tape. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kylesburgh's national animal is the tree sparrow, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Kylesburgh is ranked 24,367^th in the world and 483^rd in The North Pacific for Most Conservative, scoring 81.92 on the Bush-Santorum Dawning Terror Index.