The Eternal Misfortune of Heliosphere is a titanic, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Leader with an iron fist, and notable for its parental licensing program, free-roaming dinosaurs, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, cynical, humorless population of 22.906 billion Heliospherans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, socially-minded government prioritizes Education, although Environment, Industry, and Administration are also considered important, while Spirituality and Defense are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Heliosphere City. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Heliospheran economy, worth an astonishing 19,745 trillion Novas a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched black market in Information Technology and Cheese Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 862,033 Novas, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Fast-food chefs regularly win Health Innovation Awards for spitting on burgers, Heliosphere's citizens often wander into each other's homes, foreign invaders are putting Heliospheran lab rats out of a job, and economic output is rising as the chronically depressed are persuaded not to burden society. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Heliosphere's national animal is the Meteor, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Atheism.

Heliosphere is ranked 12,109^th in the world and 3^rd in Pencil Sharpeners Puppet Storage for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 4,130.02 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.