The Republic of Free Kolechia is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by President Safadi with an iron fist, and notable for its zero percent divorce rate, punitive income tax rates, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cynical population of 27.635 billion Kolechians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Spirituality, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kashgar. The average income tax rate is 50.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Kolechian economy, worth a remarkable 1,540 trillion Naxars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Door-to-door Insurance Sales, Cheese Exports, and Soda Sales. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 55,737 Naxars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The 'sing-a-long with President Safadi' album is a popular souvenir, the question "please would you...?" is usually laden with passive aggression, invasive drug testing is now performed at elementary school sports days, and Free Kolechia's soft-touch approach to diplomacy has made it known as the 'push-over' of the region. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Free Kolechia's national animal is the Snow Leopard and its national religion is Zenitharianism and Orthodox Cerisianism.

Free Kolechia is ranked 243,694^th in the world and 56^th in Greater Dienstad for Largest Manufacturing Sector, scoring 4,040.06 on the Gooback-Jerbs Productivity Index.