The Galactic Empire of Flarbinia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Grand Emperor Vladimir Novgorod IV with an iron fist, and renowned for its pith helmet sales, smutty television, and otherworldly petting zoo. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 31.515 billion Flarbinians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The tiny, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Deroth Ungol. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Flarbinian economy, worth an astonishing 21,946 trillion Shark'towels a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is a breathtaking 696,390 Shark'towels, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

The nation's streets have become a winter wonderland of salt and sand, the "feminist protest" defence is increasingly common for cases of armed robbery, liberals and conservatives try to disqualify each other's candidates on the grounds that "their ideas would never work in the real world", and marine biology students are shocked to discover that a whale is a mammal. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Flarbinia's national animal is the Hellhound, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Church Of Crulmoxius.

Flarbinia is ranked 6,090^th in the world and 244^th in Lazarus for Most Advanced Law Enforcement, scoring 11,410.42 on the Orwell Orderliness Index.