The People's Republic of Finnstonia is a titanic, orderly nation, ruled by President Juha Pajari with an iron fist, and remarkable for its strictly enforced bedtime, frequent executions, and hatred of cheese. The cynical population of 23.329 billion Finnstonians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt, well-organized government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Helsinki. The average income tax rate is 97.5%.

The all-consuming Finnstonian economy, worth a remarkable 2,619 trillion Markkaa a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry. State-owned companies are the norm. Average income is an impressive 112,305 Markkaa, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

People transfer their assets to bank accounts in Manamana before getting divorced, shell-shocked refugees are made to provide Immigration with lively renditions of 'Dancing Queen', summer science camps are regularly raided by narcotics police, and the FBI Channel Tunnel project is plagued by delays. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Finnstonia's national animal is the Brown Bear, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Finnstonia is ranked 290,485^th in the world and 12,128^th in Balder for Least Corrupt Governments, with 57 percentage of bribes refused.