The United States of Estinia is a titanic, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by President Cameron Kelley with an even hand, and renowned for its anti-smoking policies, ubiquitous missile silos, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-working, cynical population of 15.301 billion Estinians are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The large, pro-business government prioritizes Defense, with Education, Industry, and Law & Order also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hamilton DC. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 68.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Estinian economy, worth a remarkable 1,460 trillion dollars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Uranium Mining. Average income is 95,440 dollars, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 278,415 per year while the poor average 25,851, a ratio of 10.8 to 1.

The nation's new foreign policy of 'very disproportionate retribution' has its neighbors on edge, elderly prisoners with severe dementia are reminded hourly that they are evil people by helpful nurse-wardens, food voucher forgeries are causing headaches for the police, and male friends are often accompanied by a female relative in order to prove their 'straightness'. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Estinia's national animal is the eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Christianity.

Estinia is ranked 216,869^th in the world and 8,842^nd in Osiris for Highest Drug Use, scoring 72.97 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.