The Sublime State of BrightonBurg is a behemoth, efficient nation, ruled by Kaiser Janos II with an iron fist, and remarkable for its avowedly heterosexual populace, flagrant waste-dumping, and complete lack of public education. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 50.41 billion BrightonBurgians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The minute, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government, or what there is of one, is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, with Social Policy and Environment not funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Greater Brightonburg City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient BrightonBurgian economy, worth an astonishing 26,766 trillion Silver Coins a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Uranium Mining industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Woodchip Exports, and Arms Manufacturing. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are common. Average income is a breathtaking 530,969 Silver Coins, with the richest citizens earning 5.7 times as much as the poorest.

The land is no place for fish, all funding starts one dime at a time, new religious sects are squashed immediately by the government, and children complain that school food is too flavorful. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. BrightonBurg's national animal is the Boar, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Holy Orange Catholic Church ⛪.

BrightonBurg is ranked 332,496^th in the world and 52^nd in One big Island for Nicest Citizens, with 0.04 average smiles per day.