The Commonwealth of Bearlong is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Alfie Richardson with an even hand, and remarkable for its pith helmet sales, rampant corporate plagiarism, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cheerful population of 33.36 billion Bearians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, socially-minded morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Stornoway. The average income tax rate is 98.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Bearian economy, worth a remarkable 4,568 trillion Bearas a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 136,932 Bearas, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Time flies when you're not having fun, hospitals fear government fines more than terrorist ransoms, all gamers have been drafted into the military despite their lack of upper body strength, and it is said that the captain goes down with the ship but ecological protection goes up. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Bearlong's national animal is the Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Bearlong is ranked 316,404^th in the world and 26^th in The Confederacy of Free Nations for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring -41.05 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.