The Commonwealth of Bearlong is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Alfie Richardson with an even hand, and renowned for its compulsory military service, absence of drug laws, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, cheerful population of 32.744 billion Bearians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, socially-minded morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Stornoway. The average income tax rate is 97.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Bearian economy, worth a remarkable 4,167 trillion Bearas a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is extremely specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 127,286 Bearas, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Universities spend millions cultivating ivy on their buildings, vegetables are crisper thanks to CRISPR, the nation wears its high incidence of chromosomal diseases as a badge of pride, and molehills are the only mountains deemed safe enough for the public. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Bearlong's national animal is the Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Bearlong is ranked 2,111^th in the world and 5^th in The Confederacy of Free Nations for Longest Average Lifespans, with 94.32 years.