The Unitary National Triumvirate of Asterguard is a titanic, efficient nation, ruled by The Council of 400 with an iron fist, and notable for its anti-smoking policies, frequent executions, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 10.969 billion Asterians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Education, Law & Order, and Industry are also considered important, while Spirituality receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Veyrika. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 93.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Asterguardian economy, worth a remarkable 2,409 trillion Imperial Marcs a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Automobile Manufacturing, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 219,652 Imperial Marcs, with the richest citizens earning 7.9 times as much as the poorest.

Frat-house partying has become the national pastime, the nation is under martial law, escaped birthday balloons are torpedoed out of the sky, and computers have been banned. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Asterguard's national animal is the German Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Orthodox Christian.

Asterguard is ranked 67,489^th in the world and 17^th in The Black Hawks for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 52.42 on the Bus Surprisal Index.